a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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