if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wow bdsm is so cute
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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