I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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