He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
