@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
