Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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