I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
