Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
