So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
