remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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