do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
