and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
