Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
a search helicopter?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
