She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
