just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
