but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
