Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize