Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
