no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
