Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
