i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
