there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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