I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
