I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
