is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
