maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
