He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
