i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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