Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this must be what syphilis tastes like
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
