worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
