The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
