the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
