That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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