She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
