I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
