nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
