if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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