We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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