Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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