yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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