I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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