You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
