I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I supernannyed him into submission
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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