We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
People in love make me want to vomit
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
