we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
