Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
