Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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