she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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