Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
