found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
