I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
